God knew

Have you ever wondered.... I read in the paper that a man driving on the freeway on his way home from a basketball game never made it home because a tire hit his windshield and killed him almost instantly. The tire came off a big truck driving in the opposite direction on the other side of the freeway. It was considered a freak accident. The man, of course, had no idea what was about to happen to him two minutes before the tire came crashing through his windshield. As far as he was concerned, he was just driving home normally. He had no idea even ten seconds before the ocurrence. But God knew. A girl driving home from somewhere had a blowout and burned to death when her van overturned and pinned her so that she could not get out. Five seconds before the blowout she was driving happily home, completely oblivious to what was about to happen. But God was not oblivious. He knew. People who went to work at the Twin Towers on 9/11/2001 had no idea what would happen to them that morning, but God did. He knew. God knows about every accident that's about to happen and every crime and atrocity about to be committed. He knows about every child who is beat up and every injustice that takes place. Every greedy act. Every dishonest act. Every perverse act. Yet, He does not intervene. Why not? Anyone know?

The trouble with LEAF

Nissan has a new car out - the LEAF. If I could find a photo of it I would post it but I think I'll post a picture of something else instead. Not that it would make a difference to anyone. The LEAF can take you a distance of one hundred miles before it runs out of steam - so to speak. I play in an orchestra that requires me to travel 114 miles round trip for each rehearsal or performance. I would be stranded before I could make it home. The electric technology is just too immature for it to do me any good. Would cab drivers be able to use this car? Hmmm....

Crops

Ladies and gentlemen, I think the world is about to experience a rash of crop failures which will make cereals and fruits and vegetables very, very expensive. Don't ask me how I know. Giant food processors like Archer Daniels Midland are about to become super rich. Buy shares in the company if you can. If you can't, then store up a few cans and boxes of whatever food you can afford.

Wall Street Journal

I saw an ad on this page for the Wall Street Journal and I asked myself why they would put one of their ads here. We have nothing in common. Really. I don't put ads on their page. I suppose there's nothing I can do about it. Maybe I'll just listen to some salsa music - they don't have salsa at the Wall Street Journal site.

Russian Gadget

There is a story in Russia Today that someone in Russia (where else?) has invented a device which will prevent you from going to sleep at the wheel. It is a simple ring worn on your middle finger which rings a bell or vibrates as soon as your metabolic processes start to slow down. I hope it works - we could use a device like that. Too many drivers fall asleep at the wheel and then crash big time. Who can save you from that?

Audrina Patridge Interview

Coffee Club Newsletter ©
Volume 18, No. 11 - March 20, 2008

Warning: any similarity to persons actually living or events actually happening is strictly coincidental.

TR: Good afternoon. Are you Audrina Patridge?
AP: Who are you? Do you have a camera?
TR: Yes. I always carry one when I’m on assignment.
AP: You didn’t answer my first question. I’m not letting you in until you do.
TR: I’m a reporter with the Coffee Club Newsletter.
AP: I’m not talking to anyone until my press agent tells me to.
TR: You don’t trust me? It will be very brief. I promise you. I can never think of enough questions for a long interview.
AP: I’ll give you three minutes. Don’t let anybody see you coming in here.
TR: Oh, my God. You are so beautiful.
AP: You haven’t seen my pictures?
TR: No. They said they were X-rated.
AP: They are not. I’ll show them to you. Here, sit down please.
TR: Oh, my God. You are even more beautiful than I thought.
AP: Thank you.
TR: You must have at least a hundred of them in that box.
AP: One hundred fourteen – no duplicates.
TR: Can I have some?
AP: Never. You are so naïve. They would absolutely kill me if they saw all these.
TR: Why?
AP: I don’t really know. I’m so upset over the reaction of some people.
TR: Who?
AP: I guess people who don’t like me and don’t want my career to blossom.
TR: You don’t need to be ashamed or embarrassed.
AP: I’m really not, but I have to do what’s best for my future.
TR: You are just absolutely beautiful. Is that really you in those pictures?
AP: Of course.
TR: How would I be able to tell?
AP: I’m not about to show you.
TR: Are you busy later tonight?
AP: I’m not an escort. I’m an actress – that’s better than just being a model.
TR: Yes. I’m sorry. I got carried away.
AP: I know the feeling. I’ve learned a lot these last two days. Put your camera away, please.
TR: I was just going to clean the lens.
AP: Why? I won’t let you take pictures of anything here, not even my cat.
TR: Sorry.
AP: How did you find out where I lived anyway?
TR: I subscribe to a service that snoops on celebrities and politicians.
AP: You’re not a stalker?
TR: No, no…I’m just a reporter – a journalist actually.
AP: Is there a difference?
TR: A difference in what?
AP: Never mind. Maybe you can help me get over this scandal.
TR: I don’t see how – I only have eight readers.
AP: That’s really pitiful. You should do something scandalous to get exposure.
TR: I’m not attractive like you.
AP: No, you’re not. Maybe you should do a big story on someone really distasteful like Britney.
TR: Britney Spears? I think that woman is totally boring. She has nothing to say.
AP: You couldn’t get past the bodyguards either?
TR: No.
AP: I thought so.
TR: I’ve tried everything. I even got a fake letter of recommendation from Walt Disney but she wouldn’t buy it.
AP: I have some interesting pictures of her that nobody has ever seen.
TR: That’s impossible.
AP: Nope. I will share two of them with you if you do something for me.
TR: Anything. I’ll do anything to talk to Britney.
AP: Ok, ok. Don’t get so out-of-control.
TR: Sorry. What do you want me to do?
AP: Talk to the Playboy people for me.
TR: I can do that. I have Hefner’s addresses and cell phone numbers.
AP: Great. Tell them I’m still interested in doing the spread. I want something in the high six-figure range for the shoot. If you can get that gig for me, I’ll share Britney’s photos with you.
TR: Cool. No problem.
AP: I bet you they now feel like the guy that turned down the Beatles.
TR: For sure.
AP: Maybe both of us can get something out of this. Just don’t tell anybody.
TR: I won’t.
AP: Thanks. You’re sweet.
TR: Thank you Ms Patridge. Bye.

Electric Cars

If you followed the news yesterday, you might know that Tesla Motors had a public offering on Wall Street. They raised lots of money - that should help them further develop their electric car. The current price of a Tesla car is about $100,000, but they hope to be able to bring the price down to about $50,000 within a year. At that rate, the little car will not really make much of an impact on the greening of the environment. Only people who want to show off their environmental friendliness will want to buy this car. The masses will still prefer the Cooper or the Corolla or the Focus or the Leaf or the Lexus.