Off Street Journal

Correspondents around the globe? We don't have any. We leave that to the big boys. We're here to make fun of them - the posturing, the pretense, the commercialism. PLEASE. The only correspondent we use is the Timid Reporter. That's enough for us and (besides) he's the only one we can afford - really. Even when he's not entirely sober, the man is as honest as the day is long. He may be timid, but he's not naive and he's not afraid. On top of that, he is so old (he'll be 232 in July) he's the only correspondent in the world who can claim to have lived history, not just read about it in a book.