Barbara Walters interview

Coffee Club Newsletter ©
Volume 18, No. 30 - May 2, 2008

Any similarity to persons actually living or events actually happening is coincidental.

TR: Good afternoon. Are you Barbara Walters?
BW: Oh, please. I’m sure I’m still recognizable despite my age. Do come in and make yourself comfortable.
TR: I didn’t mean to….
BW: Don’t worry about it. Everybody gets old. Someday, even you will be old.
TR: I am already. I remember the Civil War.
BW: That’s impossible. You must have dreamt it. I’ve known a lot of people over the years and I know first hand from one famous Hindu doctor….
TR: I still have my Union Army uniform from the war, and….
BW: Does it still fit?
TR: Yes it does.
BW: That’s amazing. How can that be?
TR: I’m supposed to be asking the questions.
BW: Yes, of course, it’s just that I can’t help myself…. You could have made a fortune interviewing those famous people – Lincoln, Grant, Lee,…
TR: I didn’t know how to read or write.
BW: Oh,…. I guess that would have been a handicap for anybody.
TR: You started out as a writer.
BW: How is it you don’t show your real age?
TR: I come from a family of long-lived people.
BW: But you have short legs….
TR: Long-lived, not long-limbed….
BW: You have a tendency to mumble.
TR: I’m not the only one…..
BW: I beg your pardon ….
TR: I didn’t mean it in a bad way….
BW: Never mind. I’m very, very interested in how a man – a person – any person – can stay so young for so long.
TR: I’m not young.
BW: Well, ok – let’s just say young-looking.
TR: As I said, my family tree has several ….
BW: There has to be more to it than that.
TR: I have taken Chinese herbs for a long time….
BW: I knew China would come into the picture sooner or later. Tell me more. I’m dying to know.
TR: Most of the herbs are fairly common, but they are prepared in combination with the bark of a rare tree found only in the Himalayas.
BW: What kind of tree?
TR: I can’t say. My cousin sends me the herbs from Thailand.
BW: Is this some sort of secret?
TR: I would tell you if I knew.
BW: Why isn’t it on the market? I mean, it would make you rich.
TR: There’s only one tree left.
BW: So there’s not enough to go around? Is that what you’re saying?
TR: I don’t know.
BW: Is it a big tree?
TR: I can’t say.
BW: You can’t say or you won’t say? Surely you can tell me. I’m not Connie Chung.
TR: Who’s Connie Chung?
BW: You know, technically, this is not a Chinese tree.
TR: I wouldn’t lie to you. I think it’s in Tibet.
BW: The Himalayas are in Nepal. Didn’t you stop to consider that?
TR: I don’t know….
BW: Have you ever talked to the Dalai Lama?
TR: No, but I interviewed Nancy Pelosi and she talked to the Dalai Lama.
BW: I know Nancy. She must know something about this. How did we get off on this tangent?
TR: You asked about my age.
BW: Do you have a picture of this tree?
TR: My cousin’s sister-in-law might have one.
BW: Where does she live?
TR: In Nepal, right on the border with Tibet.
BW: What does she do there?
TR: She works for the U.N.
BW: Are you on friendly terms with her?
TR: I’m on friendly terms with everybody.
BW: Can you get her on the phone?
TR: I’m sure my cousin can.
BW: What does your cousin do?
TR: He works for the U.N.
BW: I know Kofi Annan.
TR: Coffee who?
BW: This will be much easier than I thought. Can you tell me more?
TR: Well, the herbs can be taken as a tea or they can be smoked.
BW: Would you happen to have some on you?
TR: Yes.
BW: May I see a sample?
TR: When can I start asking you some questions?
BW: We might not have time for that. Can you come back another time? I would love to continue our talk.
TR: I will show you the sample when I come back.
BW: How about your cousin’s name and phone number?
TR: That too. Thank you so much for your time.